Self-sabotage has been the story of my life, the good thing now, is I can recognise when I’m doing it.
I have read extensively within the self-help genre to be the best version of me I can be. After I have finished a book, I have all the best intentions to implement the pages' suggestions, but the motivation soon fizzles out.
I liken myself to a firework. …
It just made me more miserable.
I took courses, spent thousands of pounds, read hundreds of books and thought I had a crystal clear understanding of what I needed to do to manifest my desired future self into being. The truth is, nothing worked. All the tips and tricks I had encountered along the way just made me realise what a great big failure I was at life. I was shit at this game.
Then along came the book that would change my life forever.
The New Pyscho-Cybernetics by Maxwell Maltz was the gamechanger I had been seeking for many years. …
Being a loner surrounded by people is always going to be difficult.
I know firsthand how it feels to want to take a different direction to others' expectations. I know there are others just like me. Different.
Here are some quotes that’ll help you feel better:
The person who follows the crowd will usually go no further than the crowd. The person who walks alone is likely to find himself in places no one has ever seen before.
Two roads diverged in a wood and I — I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference. …
I was 11 years old when my mother told me I was a mistake; I remember the pain as if it was yesterday. In truth, it has been almost forty years since those harsh words began their haunting journey.
As an adult, I hated my life, and I hated myself. When I turned forty years old, I decided enough was enough with the inner conflict; it was time to purge.
I never anticipated the challenges ahead, I knew it would be not easy, after all, I had had this, and many more of these thoughts, whipping about in my head pretty much all of my life. …
So Why Do We Keep Reading Them?
How many self-help books have we read and how many more are on our wishlists to read? I have read hundreds, literally hundreds and I have so many more that I’d like to read. Why? What is it exactly that I am searching for, the holy grail?
History.com states that “the search for the grail became the holiest of quests as it signified the pursuit of union with God”. Is this why we have an unquenched thirst for information leading us to the attainment of enlightenment? What is enlightenment anyway, spiritual alchemy?
Many, many years ago, I studied the philosophical Enlightenment period of the 17th and 18th centuries; I understood this to be a time of science and reason. This new emerging movement was radically overhauling myths and superstition; it was out with the old and in with the new. …
No matter how hard we try.
Have you ever heard someone say they do yoga? Or maybe you are that someone, I’m shooting my hand straight up into the air. I was that person until I started to study yoga. I joined an online training programme to learn how to become an instructor, not to teach yoga to others, but to educate myself. I wanted to become more aware of the impact yoga can have. I loosely knew it was an ancient practice; what I didn’t count on was spending the first couple months with a gaping mouth.
I thought yoga was thousands of years old, actually, let me go back a couple of steps. In my ignorance or is it naivety, I thought yoga was a bunch of poses you do to get flexible and put yourself in some zen state. While this is true to some extent, what shocked me the most is that asana practise has been around for less than one hundred years. …
Day 3/21 A Course In Weight Loss
This is interesting. I haven't listened to the next lesson (number three), and yet I have a revelation, another one! When I got home from work, I put a drop of Smart & Sassy oil into a cup of hot water and drank it. I thought it might stave off any hunger for a while as I wasn’t hungry enough for breakfast. It made sense to me to see if I could wait until lunchtime and tell myself I’m not intermittent fasting, even though I really am.
Whilst I was drinking the hot orangey water, my friend messaged me asking if I wanted to walk with her and the dogs. It wasn’t to be our usual jaunt, she had said about getting the bus down to the bottom of Dragon’s hill and then walking back up to the village. It’s a good couple of miles, and I ummed and ah’d for a bit, I had a lot on my to-do list and taking time out for a long walk wouldn’t get all that needed doing done, so I tossed a coin. …
Day 2/21 A Course In Weight Loss
Before listening to lesson two of A Course In Weight Loss, I took my dog George for a walk. It was a beautiful autumn morning, the sun was shining and not a drop of rain, quite a rare occurrence lately. While walking and breathing in the clear, crisp air, I had the realisation that it was my disassociation that kept me skinny. Being void of feeling any emotion was good for the slim version of me.
I cannot remember when I began to disassociate. My childhood was not the best, and I have very few memories, most of which are filled with violent encounters. As a young adult, I learned quickly that nothing was ever going to change; people like me never got to be happy. People like me were born to be miserable and to be subjected to the angry outbursts of others. …
Day 1/21 A Course in Weight Loss
After writing Spirituality Made Me Fat yesterday, I understand the importance of documenting this new adventure. If I’m honest, I am struggling like made with the term, weight loss as it conjures all sorts in my mind. I know it stems from something I read or heard about many years ago. However, I cannot remember where or when.
I have in my head the association to “loss” that my mind has distinctly infused into my everyday thinking. If I “lose” something, my subconscious and conscious mind want to find it. …
Revealing buried emotions equals excessive weight gain.
I am at the start of a new journey, or am I? I’m confused, or at least I thought I was. My weight has been up and down my whole adult life. I wasn't a chubby child per se, although I did carry what my parents referred to as “puppy fat”.
My son was three weeks overdue, and back then, the doctors would let you go a month over before deciding to induce you.
I was also only fifteen years old. I loved my new figure, I was barely six stone, and I had the biggest boobs I’d ever seen ( there was no internet back then, just women and girls in the community). …